If you missed my post yesterday this may not make much sense, but so goes the world of blogging. Anyway, yesterday was a little confidence booster. I did not do all I wanted, but I made progress. At the end of the night when sat down and look at my least, it was not enough, but more than yesterday.
Then the thought arrived, you know those things that you almost hear that come to mind. "Stop that, never go to bed saying "not enough". It stopped me right in my tracks. My bedtime ritual stopped and I went back and started it over. (All of the process, including brushing my teeth and choosing different pajamas.) When I came to the part where I was writing my list, again, I wrote at the bottom. "I am grateful I was able to do that today." And I smiled.
Now smiling for me in very rare. I am often happy, but smiling is not in my nature. I can force it if I must, but it shows as forced. My husband tells people often, "if you want to know how Trenna feels you must look at her eyes, it is the only thing honest on her face." I can't disagree.
Today is packed full of stressful items. It was one of those times when I should have had a post all written and on the back burner ready to post. But I didn't. Maybe the reason was so that I could celebrate yesterday and maybe open up a little bit. I have listening with my heart mastered, but speaking from heart is not as easy. So there you have it. My day, my challenges and successes begin and somehow by writing it, even if no one reads it or comments makes me more accountable to try.
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